Wednesday, July 9, 2008


Ok, so a young man's vision of buying a car no longer symbolizes independence. It symbolizes the addition of CO2 emissions to our damaged and raped skies. And the amount of money being put out for gas per month could probably pay rent for a small apartment. Since efforts for cleaner, renewable fuel sources are still being combated by evil turdfaced Republicans, saving up for a nice vehicle is moot.

There's public transportation, which I take now and have been taking my whole life. This is more efficient, as hybrid, electric buses are now the norm here in NYC thanks to Bloomberg, but then I'm subjected to a disaster much worse than global warming: other people. Loud teenagers wrestling and blasting their ringtones, screaming like a group of jokers? Parents who think it's ok to bring their wailing infants on the train for everyone to enjoy, with no attempt to quell the crying? No thanks. I mean, I do most of my reading and writing on the train, but I could just move those activities to my lunch break or when I get home. Or during work on the days when there's no customers....which is everyday.

This leaves a bike, a skateboard, a private jet, a private copter, and my feet.

I haven't been paid the $50,000,000,000,000 advance on my new Great American Global novel which will stay on the National Bestseller's List until your great grandchildren are three times as old as you are now. So the jet and the copter are out.

A skateboard would be cool. I've always wanted to relearn to ride and do some basic tricks. But my frail 26-year-old bones are not used to serious injury on the weekly or monthly basis. So, in the process of trick-training I'd most likely fall and....well....die. Besides, I don't really think a skateboard is used for long-distance traveling unless a motor and some handles are attached. And while that would be a decent ride to work, I wouldn't know where to store it while working.

I have no problem walking to work. I like walking, and it can be done (just follow the train tracks all the way to the stop I get off). The thing is, since my job is a little over 6 miles from my apartment door, I'd have to leave my house at some zombified hour in the morning to get there on time. Occasionally? Data verified. All the time? Invalid entry.

The bike looks like a very good prospect. Besides dodging cars in that long stretch of intersections underneath the train all the way to work, I think it would be a fun and healthy trip. I seen a bike online at Besides glowing in the dark, it has a mechanism in the middle of the aluminum frame that allows you to fold the bike in half (though not by much), and a locking cord that, when broken by someone trying to steal your bike, breaks the bike altogether.

It looks like a great bike, and $1,600 U.S.D. looks like a great price.......a price I could cover when I got that book advance. This is all just consideration anyway. Ah well.


  1. Your frail 26 year old bones? You're not that old yet....

    I think your only hope is the train. :(

  2. Don't Feed The PixiesJuly 10, 2008 at 5:59 AM

    I feel your pain. Commuters of the world unite!

    It used to be the way when i was a kid that you would get on a bus and everyone would respect each other's space. This is no more - i blame the mobile phone for such gems as "I'm on the bus, i'll be about five minutes"

    6 miles is do-able on a bike, I do this distance to work on mine and i know a girl who does a 32 mile round trip every day - you could go for a cheaper option if you get sturdy locks or have a safe location near work - not sure i'd fancy it in New York traffic though. Although - so few companies offer showers at work


What's your beef, sports fan?