Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Anthem Of Our Dying Day

This title being the name of a song by one of my favorite emo bands.

Bollocks, mate. Another day, another dollar expression. Woke up this morning and went into the bathroom, only to find that the maintenance department for our buildings shut the water off. I held my toothbrush under the faucet and turn the knob, just so the faucet could clear its throat and cough out a lukewarm drop before turning silent. Looked in the mirror, and felt compelled to kick myself for forgetting that I read a notice saying this will happen two days ago and said to myself "alright, shower Monday night". But Monday night, after driving home from a fun social gathering with people from my church, I threw myself into the bed whilst watching "Tim and Eric's Awesome Show. Great Job!" and just told myself I'd shower in the morning. Bollocks.

Going without water for a few hours felt like life came to a complete halt. Couldn't wash the dishes. Mom couldn't do her laundry. Had to go to the bathroom, but remembered that the toilet wouldn't flush, and even if it did, how would I wash my hands? Washing before starting the day has become such an instilled habit that I could not fathom a thing to do without using water first. After asking myself why maintenance didn't shut the water off at midnight last night and just do their business then, I started to think about the many people who have to live without water everyday. Right here in New York City. In third-world countries. On planets in other solar systems with creatures who probably brush their nostrils with mercury. They live. Not in remotely desirable conditions, but they live. I imagine……if they were to see me whining about not being able to shower for a few hours, they'd want put my head where JFK's upper back was on November 22nd.

World's still spinning. Investors still investing. Bosses still being bossy. Squirrels still in pursuit of a tangible nut stash. Obama's still nubbing away at the mile-high stack of global problems.

Theaters are still being flooded with comic book films, completely damaging the novelty of them. "Watchmen", the unfilmable story, was recently released (although it was good). A sequel to the Punisher before that (which I will pass judgement on although I haven't seen it, that film should have been aborted as soon as it was brought up as an idea in the studio board room). Another Hulk film before that, and Iron Man. Samuel L. Jackson has just signed a deal to do 9, count it, 9 Marvel Universe films as the character Nick Fury. I love comic books and films, but Hollywood is viciously murdering the excitement for them. Ack……

Still looking for new work in an economic atmosphere that severely lacks it, despite the fact that huge pockets of money are just sitting and collecting dust in various parts of the country. Of the globe. I still have hope. Not hope that I'll find a job, but hope that I'll be alright in general. I hope and pray for everyone that change will come. The Revolution will not be televised!........well, actually, with everything from Brad Pitt's toilet visits to a low-budget reality series about old people being hit by speeding ambulancesnote below, nothing goes without being televised at some point.

Bollocks.

note:This content was completely imagined and made up by the author of this post, although evidence exists that shows that people are stupid enough to both film and be entertained by both of these things.

3 comments:

  1. LOL the last line is truly funny. And "bollucks".. very British :)

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  2. Don't Feed The PixiesApril 15, 2009 at 9:27 AM

    Fantastic piece of writing - i love the almost raymond chandler narrative and the way it flows.

    People will watch any old shit though, won't they?

    If you get American Idol or America's Got Talent just compare some of the acts to feeding the christians to the lions and ask yourself which was worse.

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  3. I've had to get by without easy access to water reasonably often in various parts of the world, including here at home, and it's amazing 1) how you get reasonably competent at it, and 2) how rapidly it increases your appreciation of clean water. (BTW, the toilet's cistern stores a substantial amount of water; it should be just as clean and safe as tap water, but you can always boil it if you're squeamish, or use it for washing).

    Still grinning at the image of aliens brushing their nostrils with mercury... :^D

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